i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
