u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
This house was built for laser tag.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
