So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize