Is it normal to miss your booty call?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
