In the future we'll all be gay
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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