I want to walk on stilts...naked
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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