He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize
