You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
