I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
What a dumb baby whore.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
