mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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