we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
