Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
