whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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