yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize