Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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