I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize