This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
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