I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
