We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize