Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
