she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's like heaven, but drunker
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
