Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
