So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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