But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
This is my gift to your gina
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
