apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
