Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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