i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Less talking, more tequila
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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