What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
