i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
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I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
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I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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