Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
