So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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