I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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