Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
