Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.

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(314): First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom. http://tfl.nu/gkr4

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(310): View more from California

I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer

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(310): I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer http://tfl.nu/kzvv

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(571): View more from Virginia

I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life

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(571): I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life http://tfl.nu/ta8c

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(816): View more from Missouri

yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake

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(816): yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake http://tfl.nu/gu5i

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(619): View more from California

you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.

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(619): you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you. http://tfl.nu/x6wp

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?

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(407): I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!? http://tfl.nu/85fy

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?

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(781): what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to? http://tfl.nu/2zz0

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(407): View more from Florida

Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.

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(407): Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008. http://tfl.nu/vkb0

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.

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(202): I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her. http://tfl.nu/d96s

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday

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(307): Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday http://tfl.nu/9dt4

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split

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(401): I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split http://tfl.nu/416l

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.

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(717): One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date. http://tfl.nu/fy3f

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(812): View more from Indiana

I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.

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(812): I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy. http://tfl.nu/z5fr

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(519): View more from Ontario

I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.

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(519): I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands. http://tfl.nu/u4sr

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage

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(610): I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage http://tfl.nu/3lzu

Replies (1) Good night (691) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt

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