Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.