And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
