NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
