I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize