you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
How does one acquire holy water?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
