I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
