why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
