Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you would pick up someone in the library
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
