hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
