I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize