i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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