Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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