I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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