Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
