I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
