I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
