we made out on top of his cat.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
