I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
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I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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