There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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