Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got inside last night via doggy door
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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