Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize