I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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