Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
