I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
