I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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