She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
