Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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