with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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