I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
